A Road to Recovery: Overcoming Burnout

I want to share my journey of overcoming burnout with you. It all started back in 2019 when I made the exciting leap from traditional employment to freelancing. At first, the change seemed promising, but as COVID-19 hit and the demands of full-time work and studies piled up, I found myself slipping into burnout.

Introduction

1. About the Author

At the time of writing this interview in the summer of 2023, I am a 25-year-old male software engineer residing in Ottawa, Canada, with my beloved cat. In my spare time, I enjoy playing ping-pong, riding a mountain bike, taking walks, playing chess, and revisiting some old computer games.

2. The Journey into Burnout

My journey into the throes of burnout began in 2019 when I was studying in Warsaw, Poland. It all started with an excited leap from traditional employment to the freelancer life. An increased salary, coupled with the fascination of working directly with U.S. clients, made it an anticipated change. Then COVID-19 hit, and remote learning seemed like a blessing initially. However, the blend of full-time work and full-time studies soon became overwhelming.

Despite my love for the work, the fatigue and constant thoughts about it even during vacations signaled the onset of burnout. Reducing the workload (I decided to quit my studies) helped marginally, but in early 2021, I was driven to an uncontrollable state of overwhelming anxiety and aversion to my job. I couldn't focus, couldn't force myself to work, didn't enjoy anything, and didn't feel anything.

3. Attempts at Recovery

First things first - I took a long break before looking for a new job. I also decided to end my relationship. I attempted to engage in activities I once enjoyed, like playing games, but the joy seemed elusive. Even my hobby projects, which I used to work on regularly, lost their appeal.

After a three-month hiatus, I decided to seek employment again, hoping it would reignite my passion. However, the feelings of dissatisfaction and lack of focus resurfaced within three months. The cycle repeated through various job changes, leaving me disillusioned and questioning my future in software development.

4. Seeking Help and Making Big Changes

Realizing that something wasn't quite right with my mental health, I sought professional help and tried antidepressants, but they didn't provide the desired results. In early 2022, with the war in my home country (Ukraine) adding to my stress, I decided to make a significant change in my life and applied for a visa to Canada. I hoped the change of scenery and more social interaction in a new job would help in my recovery.

Working in Ottawa for six months, I had mixed feelings about my new job, even though the company and colleagues were supportive. Issues with focus and attention span persisted, leading me to seek other solutions.

5. What Finally Worked for Me?

Through experimentation, I discovered a combination of practices that helped me on the road to recovery. Here are the most impactful ones:

1. Reduce screen time

I started to reduce my phone screen time via the "Digital Wellbeing" application, which was preinstalled on my phone. You probably have something similar on your phone as well. I limited the usage of all apps where I mindlessly scroll to 30 minutes per day, including Facebook, Instagram, Chrome (browser), YouTube, and Twitch.

I noticed that even though these apps were blocked on my phone, I started using my laptop to do the same. So, I decided to block these apps completely from my PC. Since I'm using Linux, it was as easy as adding a couple of lines to the /etc/hosts file:

    127.0.0.1       www.twitch.tv
    127.0.0.1       www.youtube.com
    ...

But you can also install browser extensions to achieve the same result.

Despite these measures, I still found myself getting distracted and grabbing my phone to get that cheap "dopamine spike." However, after a couple of weeks, it started to fade away.

In addition to limiting screen time, I set some small constraints, such as not allowing phones or laptops in the bedroom. If I wanted to use them, I had to go to the living room. Another constraint was avoiding phone or laptop use for the first 15 minutes after waking up.

I believe this last constraint is the most important one. It helped me have more one-on-one time with my brain, allowing it to heal itself. I now have more time to contemplate what I want to do, how I feel about something, and my emotions have started to reemerge. I catch myself having thoughts like "wow, this is really beautiful out here" or "hmm, I like the sound of rain, it's so comforting." Moreover, I now genuinely "want" to do things. I haven't felt this way in more than two years, and it's awesome!

2. Spend more time alone

I understand this may not be for everyone, so I offer a disclaimer, but personally, spending more time alone played a huge role in recovering my motivation and passion. When I walk or cycle somewhere alone, I do so without music or my phone. This allows my brain to think and express its desires. Listening to yourself is related to the first point of reducing screen time, and I believe both are equally important.

After these sessions with your brain, you start to better understand yourself, your ideas, and your emotions. You gain clarity on what you really want. Achieving this level of understanding becomes challenging if you constantly replace your thoughts with funny Instagram stories or YouTube videos.

3. Get some exercise

I started with some really easy ones - just stretches that take about 5 minutes. Initially, my brain questioned their effectiveness, but my body responded positively, and I started enjoying these slow stretches.

I began doing them right after waking up, without a specific training program, just following what felt easy and pleasurable. Letting it be my first small accomplishment of the day, I soon noticed that these small successes started to snowball, making life better.

After about a month, I increased my exercise routine to include a combination of push-ups, pull-ups, and abs. I don't have a gym membership, so I do some of these exercises at home and others at street workout places.

Importantly, I don't force myself to exercise; I usually want to do it, but if not, I allow myself to skip it without feeling guilty. The key is to avoid completely abandoning the habit and to try and incorporate it into my routine as soon as possible.

6. Areas for Further Improvement

While I've made significant progress, there are still aspects of my life I'd like to improve:

Food

I aim to improve my eating habits, which currently rely heavily on delivery services. Finding easy and enjoyable recipes might be the key to healthier eating.

Reading

To improve attention span and enjoy reading once again, I plan to invest in paper versions of books, reducing screen time before bed.

Conclusion

Overcoming burnout was a challenging journey, but through self-reflection, limiting distractions, and embracing simple pleasures, I've found a path to recovery. My advice to those experiencing burnout is to take the time you need for healing seriously. Avoid rushing into new jobs or side projects; instead, focus on understanding yourself and your true desires.